I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
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Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
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He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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