piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
