The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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