escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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