the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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