porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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