we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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