You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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