is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
