You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
