Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Randomize
