**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
