escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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