what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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