I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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