I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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