if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Are my feet made of real feet?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
