Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
