Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize