Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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