these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
