Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize