I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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