so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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