Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
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You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
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New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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