for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
