This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
