My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
