You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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