Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
