i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
