please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
