so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
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of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
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I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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