Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.