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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.

  (254): View more from Texas

  Jealous?

  (903): View more from Texas

  Very.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.

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• (1616): View more from

  I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (716): View more from New York

  Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music

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