Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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