i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
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Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening