Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
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You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
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YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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