We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
