So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
