I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize