Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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