Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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