In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
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He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
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I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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