I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I will pee on everything he values.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
