I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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