thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
