I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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