it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
