So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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