I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize