What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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