You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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