3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
