jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
