it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
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