You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
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I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
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By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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