this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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