nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize