I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
